Should you show your "soft" side?
More and more current research confirms that the best leaders use all of their brains. That includes the “soft” side. They have what has been called emotional intelligence and are not afraid to be compassionate and empathetic, at the same time that they are assertive and decisive.
There is also research out there that confirms that deep connection in relationships is impossible if people are not willing to open their heart and if they keep a wall of protection around their “soft” side. Relationships work better when we are willing to balance assertiveness and love.
For some reason, many leaders I work with are afraid to show the soft side of their brain. It seems that over the years a myth has developed that goes something like: “Leaders don’t show any softness. It would ruin their leadership.”
Couples also tend to think that if they show softness, they will be at a disadvantage and the other person will walk all over them.
The sad result is that many people go to great lengths to hide their soft side:
They scream.
They belittle.
They show no emotions.
They criticize often and seldom give praise.
They don’t show compassion.
Yet, if you stop and think of the leaders and the people you admire the most, what do you find? Often you admire them because even though they show great leadership, foresight, and strength, they also show heart. They are not afraid to show the soft side of their brain. They are not so worried about protecting their soft side that in the process they lose sight of the bigger picture and become too hard and ruthless.
At a time when connection, collaboration, participation, and innovation are key, the most successful leaders dare to show heart. Just like the most successful leaders have done over the years. The same is true for the most successful couples.
What about you? Do you dare to show. . .
regret when you have been in the wrong?
thankfulness when others help you?
empathy when someone is hurting?
doubt when there are no certainties?
joy when there is a win?
excitement when new ideas are born?
forgiveness when mistakes are made while exploring possibilities?
A friend from one of the LindenIn groups I participate in once wrote:
Every roar has a whisper inside. Tune out the loud to hear the soft. Rand MacIvor
I think that’s sound advice for everyone. Don’t dismiss your softer side. Let it be heard. Many times a whisper is way more powerful that a roar.
REMEMBER. . .
Let the soft voice of your heart be heard and it will enhance, not hinder, your leadership and your love connections.